whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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