I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
