Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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