He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
