I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
