my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Randomize
