Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
