Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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