I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My feet surprised me
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