just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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