and you said cock pushups were impossible
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
