clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
