I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
