i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
