So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Buhtt sex?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Be still, my beating vagina.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
