He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
