Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
