sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
