I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
