Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dignity is for republicans.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
