He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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