i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
