Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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