My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize