planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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