Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
