I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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