I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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