I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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