So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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