): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
