but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
how drunk are you?
Several
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
