therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
