I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
