What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
