What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
