he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
