thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
