She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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