Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
