At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
