i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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