Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
