I'm going to jail i love you
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
