Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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