WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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