Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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