what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize