i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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