Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
