she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
