just survived the first fart of the relationship.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
