i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
