So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
