I smell stomach acid.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
