READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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