Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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