I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
