Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
